Do you ever feel overwhelmed by the amount of information out there? In any given moment we are exposed to more information, more data, than we can consciously process. So, we filter. Almost as though we are each wearing a special pair of sunglasses with a lens that only allows us to see certain things.

We filter out things that don’t conform to our worldview. The things that pass through our personal filter are things that support our conscious and subconscious beliefs, our habits and our training. In many ways, this is adaptive and helpful. It allows us to quickly assess situations, figure out what we need to do, make decisions and move forward. Sometimes, though, that filter gets in the way.

If you’re reading this, I can guarantee you that you are really competent at finding what you look for. I’m not talking about the keys you misplaced, or the sock that somehow ended up without a mate. I’m talking about supporting evidence.

We all do it. We find evidence to support our beliefs: our views of people, situations, the world, what is possible, even ourselves. We do this naturally. It’s not something we have to think about or something that we are consciously aware of most of the time. It happens in the background. And it happens all the time.

What many people don’t realize, though, is that we can decide what to filter for. What we pay attention to, where we turn our focus, is a choice. So, stop for a moment to think about what it is you filter for. Are you looking for the things that you really want to be looking for? Are your beliefs and habits of mind supporting you or keeping you stuck?

If you’re like most people I know, you are really skilled at seeing what’s wrong: the traffic is awful, I have too much to do, my spouse doesn’t really understand or even listen to me, my colleagues are always blaming or complaining. Can you see what kind of day you are likely to have if you allow “What’s wrong here?” to be your filter or your focus?

What if instead of focusing on what’s wrong, you created a new habit of focusing on what’s right? If you’re reading this, you’re likely already familiar with the expression, “What you appreciate appreciates.” Partly that’s because of the filter: as we look for things that we appreciate, we see more things we appreciate. The beautiful thing, though, is that as we begin to appreciate more and find fault less, we soften to others, we support them to show up in ways that work for us too, and we allow ourselves to feel the love that is always there within us. If that isn’t a win-win, I don’t know what is.

 Appreciating > Finding Fault

 “Stop fighting with your family members, spouse, or friends. Start appreciating. Enjoy each other. Stop looking at the other’s faults. Start to appreciate each other’s qualities. Life is short. Even if you live one hundred years, how long will you live with all your faculties intact? The period we have to appreciate each other is quite limited.”  – Gehlek Rimpoche