Take a deep breath right now. Before reading on, just take a breath.

I’m going to invite you to take an honest look at something really important. I invite you to look at all the places where you are telling yourself that something’s wrong or something’s missing:

• • What is wrong with you?
  • What is wrong with your spouse?
  • What is missing from your relationship?
  • What is wrong with your job or your financial situation or your ability to provide for yourself and your family?
  • What is wrong with your health?
  • What’s wrong with the way your employees are doing their jobs?
  • What are all those things that if you had them in your life, you’d finally be happy?
  • Do you feel like you don’t have enough time or resources or love — is that’s what’s missing from your life?
  • What’s wrong with our government, or the way people treat you or others, or the way we are living our lives and utilizing resources?

Let yourself feel what it feels like when you believe all of those thoughts. Really marinate in it all for a moment. Let it all sink in. What emotions do you experience? What images do you see of the past and the future? How does your body feel when you bring those thoughts front and center? How do you treat your spouse or your coworkers or your children or your parents when you believe that something’s wrong with them or what they are doing or what they want or believe? How do you treat yourself when you believe that you’re broken or not good enough or don’t have what it takes?

Now take another deep breath.

What if all of those beliefs, all of those thoughts, are just stories? What if you are just making it all up, like some grand fairytale? What if those thoughts are like clouds that float through the sky of your consciousness? What if they come and go — just like the waves that roll into the shore and recede, just like the flowers that bloom and fade, just like the emotions that you feel? What if it’s only your choice (conscious or subconscious) to hold onto them that gives them any energy or power at all? What if there’s another way?

I invite you to remember that you are constantly making meaning out of things you see or experience or even feel. Even more importantly, I invite you to remember that you actually have a choice.

You can choose to continue to do things and be with yourself and others in the way that you have, but we all know that chances are good you’ll keep getting the same results you’ve been getting. So if you’re happy with the results you’re already getting, that’s great! If it’s not broken, don’t fix it!

If you aren’t happy with your results, though, ask yourself this: what are you really committed to? Are you serving safety and comfort, or are you serving something even more deep and meaningful to you? What mission moves you and motivates you and inspires you? Here’s mine…

I inspire, support, and honor wholehearted living, courageous loving, and true connection. 

Sometimes I get caught (more often than I’d like to admit during the past few months) in serving safety and comfort rather than what really matters to me. It’s like the clouds come in and I somehow forget that the sun is still there in the sky, shining as brightly as ever. I forget just because somehow I can’t see it in this moment. That’s why self-reflection and self-awareness is so important. It’s what supports us to live consciously and intentionally, rather than being driven by our habits.

As soon as I see that that is what I am doing, I wake up again to who I really am. I remember that we are all connected. I remember that I have a choice. I begin by forgiving myself for having fallen asleep, and then I look at the stories I’m making up about my boyfriend or my brother or myself, and I ask myself: are these stories serving wholehearted living, courageous loving and true connection? If not, I choose to let them go. They aren’t me, they are just a tape playing in my head. It’s a radio station that plays the same songs again and again, and they are songs I’m not interested in listening to anymore.

I choose wholehearted living, courageous loving, and true connection.

What are you choosing?