I love waking up early.

Sometimes when I wake up early, I go to the gym. By 7am I’ve done my workout for the day, and feel awake and alive and energized and ready to take action. I get so much done those mornings. My internal fire has been stoked and I move forward with purpose and passion. By mid-day, I’ve accomplished lots, and that sense of achievement, of having completed projects or made substantial progress on them feels amazing.

Sometimes when I wake up early, I lie in bed and “meditate”. There are days on which irrespective of what time I go to sleep, I awake just after 4am. Those are definitely days when I lie in bed and meditate. Instead of getting up or trying to fall back asleep (we all know how effective that can be), I simply turn my alert awareness to myself, paying attention to what shows up, and allowing it to move through me. I feel the coolness of the air, notice the pervasive quietness that surrounds me before even the birds have started to sing their daily songs. Thoughts come and go, and I watch them without giving them energy or getting caught up in and by them. There are thoughts that have the power to pull me to get quickly out of bed to take care of something, but instead of heeding those thoughts, I just allow them to float through and past me like a big white puffy cloud passing through the clear blue sky. I come back to myself. It feels like coming home.

I “meditate” from a place of sleepy softness on days when I don’t go to the gym. At least for a few minutes, a few breaths. I simply lie in bed and feel the energy coursing through my body. I can feel the smallest movement, the smallest shift within me. I soften to myself and my experience. In those moments, I feel such gratitude for the way my body does all that it does without me directing it to do anything, without me needing to control or push it. As I breathe, I feel the expansiveness that is always available, but that I sometimes lose sight of and don’t feel. I feel open and receptive and warm.

And then, there are the days when I write. I begin from the open, receptive place of having taken a few moments to breathe and open and feel the aliveness that is already within me. I pick up a pen or my laptop, and I write. No agenda, no goal — I write for the sake of writing. I write for the sake of expressing whatever arises, I allow whatever comes. It’s a practice of creating space for my own voice, my inner voice. It’s a voice that I don’t always heed or even hear, and my practice of writing helps me touch into it and listen.

I used to put so much pressure on myself when I sat down to write. I used to so judge what I wrote, or worry about how others would judge it. I wrote poems and would compare them to poems by authors I love, like Mary Oliver or Rumi. It was as though I thought that in order to be an amazing poet, I needed to write like them. But I can’t really effectively write like them. And if I tried, I’m sure it would sound forced or measured. That’s what always happens whenever we try to be anyone other than ourselves, isn’t it? I love the Oscar Wilde quote, “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”

Here’s a poem I wrote back in 2001 after a dear friend and colleague encouraged me to write often, during a conversation we had on my last day at the company where we worked together.

Write Soon

Write soon, and often
He said to me
As I packed up
The last of my things

I had read,
Even memorized
The words of those deemed poetic
Ones the world found wise

Felt my heart ache
Tears well in my eyes
Had my soul touched
By those who know not my face

The power of words
I understand well
But what, I wondered,
Had I to say?

There I sat, silently
Pen in hand
The pressure to produce
Weighed mightily

Anxious, again
Paralyzed by my fears
If I reach out, bare my soul
What will people think?

And who I am, after all,
To believe
My words are worthy
Of someone else’s time?

Is it their approval
That I seek?
Am I hoping for them
To validate me?

Let go, and observe
The pen now begins
Words just come
Flowing freely

My heart poured onto the page
Memories captured for all to see
They are welcome
To take what they need

But when I write
I write for my sake

May you find ways to create the space to nurture yourself, to wake up and tap into the wisdom that is already there within you, if only you stop for a moment to listen.