Have you ever found yourself in an argument with someone you love, wishing you could find a way through the conflict?

John Gottman (www.gottman.com), who has done a tremendous amount of research on the science of love. He claims he can predict with over 90% accuracy whether a relationship will last. He does this by analyzing the interactions of couples in his Love Lab in Seattle. What he has found is that relationships need lots of positive interactions. I’m sure you could have guessed that, but his science is more exact than simply that. He says that if the ratio of positive interactions to negative interactions is greater than 5:1, the relationship has a strong likelihood of lasting.

Criticism has an incredibly damaging effect on relationships. So, what can you do if you find yourself caught in the toxic cycle of criticizing or blaming your partner? Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks are therapists, best-selling authors, and the founders of The Hendricks Institute. Their mission is to support conscious living and conscious loving. Their two minute video on How to End Blame and Criticism:

Make a commitment to ask yourself:

• I wonder what I could learn from this?
• I wonder how I could be contributing this?
• Why are we doing this to each other?
• What am I afraid of?

May you live in wonder and love!